For those who do not know, today is day of spine Specialists. Her drink, little by little, women (and men in the future) that unite theory and practice; professionals who work in something related to our children and mothers (or fathers, grandparents, aunts)!!! Dear Gabriela Giachetta, nurse and postpartum doula, already have membership card here, and this time brings a crucial issue: the bond that we generate with the baby. And don’t even think about that is all natural and easy. Want to see?
By Gabriela Giacheta
Hello guys! In the last post we discussed about the importance of breastfeeding in the first hour of life, as it’s not easy initiation of breastfeeding and, further, the maintenance of the same.However, I wanted to reinforce that to have a successful breastfeeding doesn’t just have milk and a baby sucking. Countless times I’ve witnessed it: milk, baby you know sugar and failure. After all, why so many mothers are unable to breastfeed?
What I’m going to talk about today is my opinion on the subject according to personal experience, experience in my work and also based on literature. I’ll start with a simple example: a active woman who worked during pregnancy and only went out on leave next to the birth of your baby.Independent, ran or picked up a bus when well understood. Independent.
So, this same woman becomes mother in a blink of an eye. Arrives at pregnant smartphones, all organized to receive this new life. The first few days a lot of adaptation, baby learning to breastfeed, the woman learning to deal with your breasts and with all the care that involve lactation. With this we have to mother, mother-in-law and/or husband. Visitors appear. In some families more and others less, but appear.
After a few days the visitors end up. The mother, mother-in-law and/or husband resume his activities. All return to their lives. The partner usually leaves early to work and back when it’s getting dark. And his wife, newly born, in the puerperium is there, with your baby 24 hours a day, some have the privilege of having an aide who organizes the home, clothes, food. Others rely on a helper once a week and, most, not anyone. Need to take care of everything: home, food, clothing, baby.
And, along with all this, the hormonal changes that occur during this phase and leave us with an incredible mood swing: a roller coaster. Now happy, now sad. The active woman feel bad, sometimes felt wronged because all resumed your routine and she doesn’t. Is there if donating all day, hardly have time to take a bath. Your whole day is in relation to the child and all of a sudden, nothing else makes sense.
At this time, that is when the woman must be really of body and soul, she’s not. In fact, you’re rooting for the guy or any family here soon because you can’t stand to be alone all day, breast feeding and changing diapers. All that should be pleasurable routine becomes something mechanical and boring. The longing to have your life back springs. Feel like going out, working, doing things only for their own pleasure. And then we have a mother and a baby totally disconnected.
She’s there, but actually is not. Is far, far away. Thoughts in all possible places, less there. When the baby prompts chest she puts, I mechanically, and takes advantage of that time to check your emails, messages and social networks. Really she is disconnected – him. And, in a matter of days, the baby always seems to be angry, sometimes even refusing the breast. Fight with him, when in fact, you’re fighting for the attention of the mother on the cell phone or tablet.
How hard it is to connect right?
I say this from experience. When we’re pregnant we don’t expect so. Not imagine how it would be so hard that period anyway when we designed our baby is all very perfect and with timetables for ruled over time to do our stuff. The reality is this. I’m not saying it’s the worst thing in the world, I’m just saying we have to prepare ourselves psychologically and emotionally for us to disconnect from our activities and the virtual world so you can connect with our baby.
You do not need to be isolated from the world and all. But, in the first few months of your baby’s life and your life as a parent, you need to understand that delivery is great and you connect it takes. Your life will never be the same, in my opinion, will be even better and everything will have more sense, however, in the beginning you have to deliver. That’s the key word: surrendering to the moment. Live day after day. Not want perfection in everything, trying to see things in a more light and understand that your son needs you, only you.
Delivery is great and eternal, for life, but gradually you will have more time for you. Things are settling down, your baby growing and acquiring certain independence. Soon will be walking, will refuse your lap. Ask to sleep in the House of the grandparents. And you’ll be there, with more time for you and miss what was back there.
Relax, breathe, surrender. If you chose to be a mother, either. Is the “profession” more gratifying that a woman might have. listen to your intuition. It touches on when I gave birth. Observe your heart. Be the mirror of this baby that you had the privilege of throwing and, now, to educate for it to become a good human being. Thank. Many would love to be in your place. Look for company.Postnatal groups, friends who are also in this new phase of life. Change the ares, the looks, the priorities. Allow yourself to change, after all motherhood is the greatest portal we passed: we are one before and one after.
Gabriela Giacheta is obstetric nurse, doula, postpartum and breastfeeding consultant. Miguel’s mother (of two years), frustrated with the early weaning and dropped everything to understand what had happened. Turned into frustration in overcoming: left the hospitals, specialized, and chose to help other mothers through home care. On page discoverers of the World, still shares tips about maternity active!